vampthenewblack: (Default)

Nervous.

September is HP Month. Just a thing [personal profile] venis_envy and I are doing to turn back time a year or so and write some Harry/Draco fic. It probably should have been titled H/D month, but whatever.

Everything I write sucks right now. I have no 'flow'. To achieve my intent with a story, I'm having to go very slow and very careful, often pulling back several hundred words to restart.

And I'm starting a lot of really, really rubbish things. Watching my dropbox fill up with badly executed plot bunnies and my AO3 subscriber count drop every time I post something I actually finish.

So my confidence is in the toilet. Which is an unpleasant place to be, but oh well, not like it hasn't been there before and come back again. Annoying, though, right when I want to write some H/D, a pairing I really enjoyed writing around the epic block of 2012.

I was very new to writing HP at the beginning of that. I finished a couple first drafts, started some others, planned some more. And six months later when I finally came out of it (longest.block.ever) it was Harry and Draco that I wrote.

Then Teen Wolf happened, and I've been sort of consumed by it since. I occasionally branch out, I wrote some H/D during NaNo (that's coming up fast, too, another reason to freak the fuck out, but if I'm prepared to write it off as another never-shared NaNo Novel it's guaranteed to break the block—NaNo always does) last year, I've written some Buffy and some Supernatural fic, but Teen Wolf is very comfort zone/main fandom for me.

But it looks weird on my AO3 dash. I feel like I was in HP fandom for some time, I feel like I wrote a lot, and I feel comfortable with Harry and Draco, but looking at the works count you wouldn't think so. I recently posted my 69th Teen Wolf fic, and HP count is like, five.

But. There's an everloving crapload of half finished HP fic in my dropbox. There's at least two finished fics (one's still on paper, and it went to the US with me in 2012 and I haven't looked at it since. I imagine it needs a lot of work, but editing, I can do). I have my Season of Kink Bingo to at least make an attempt at before the deadline at the end of September.

I can do this. I'm going to fucking do this.

*tries to ignore the gnawing guilt over neglected (but not abandoned) Teen Wolf WiP's*

vampthenewblack: (Default)

Some say writer's block is a myth. I do kind of agree with them. It's not some mystical fog that comes down over our keyboards out of the blue. There's always a cause behind those moments, hours, days, months where every time we sit down to write nothing (or nothing good) comes out.

I think I've been doing this long enough now that I can recognise at least some of the causes behind my own personal blockages.

Right now I'm wading through thick mud in an attempt to finish the final chapter of Something Quiet. The story is basically finished, has been for close to a week, at least as far as the casefic part goes. I'm having trouble wrapping up the 'ship aspect, though.

It always takes a bit longer to get final chapters done as I make sure I'm wrapping up all the bits and bobs, but this is ridiculous. I've gotten maybe 800 words out in the last week of sitting down to write every day.

This generally happens when I'm trying to force the story in the wrong direction. In this case, I'm trying to make these two shag when they're really not ready for it. Or I'm trying to make them do it the wrong way. Or something. Pretty much it means that I'm going to have to trash the last weeks work and [personal profile] venis_envy is going to have my guts for garters.

The last two fics I've written—flash fic to a prompt I managed to complete and which is posted here, and a failed attempt at another square on my SoK bingo—I've had to rip back to a point and start over, as well, so I've got a pattern. Real Life has been busy, my writing routine broke, and I'm not back in the swing yet. I keep trying, and end up forcing it, so the stuff that's coming out is often shite.

So until I get my mojo back, I think I'm just going to have to stay aware of this pattern, and accept that more often than not I'm going to have to tear it apart and start over.

Which I'm totally going to do. Tomorrow.

vampthenewblack: (Default)

I'm kind of passionate about transformative works, I figure that should be a gimme for someone who reads and writes fanfiction or consumes/creates any other kind of fanwork. What we do is legal under fair use, which is awesome. It encourages creativity and gives many of us an avenue to hone our skills in a non-threatening and supportive environment.

For that reason I like to make it clear that I don't restrict the re-transformation/remixing of my fic as long as it keeps to the spirit of fair use and the fandom gift economy. Sharing is caring, and all that shit XD

Transformative Works & Sharing Policy

You're free to transform my fanworks however you like, without asking, provided you:

  • credit me and link to the source work
  • allow others to transform likewise
  • don't profit from it

If you're posting on AO3, use the nifty 'this work inspired by' function to link back. If it's not on AO3, drop me a line so I can link to it.

You're free to share my work non-commercially using the ebooks downloaded from AO3 via email, file-share, torrent etc. These files contain all the necessary credit and links. Do not repost as-is in any other format.

My original fic is licensed individually via Creative Commons.

vampthenewblack: Stiles (Stiles)

I'm an introvert with social phobia and a very narrow attention span. And a little OCD. People are okay in small doses, and a select few I can handle in slightly-more-than-moderate doses, but when I don't get my regularly scheduled alone time to recharge I get snappy. And I start to go a little bit insane.

Read more... )

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