Okay, so I was days late for the party, I knew SPN was restarting in October, but I hadn't gotten around to actually noting the date, and last night I figured I should check, and, lo, it started last week. So I had surprise-new-SPN to watch \o/ It's a bloody good thing I don't spend any time at all in my tumblr timeline, because I can imagine I would have been epically spoiled and we all know how much I hate that.
So I just got done saying I wasn't going to sign up for anything until Camp NaNo in July, and then I went and signed up for spn_j2_bigbang. I'm officially insane.
But I did actually write something already. I got an idea over Christmas, and just wrote a little every day through New Year, until I got to the end. Because it's so damn rough, and so...well, unfinished (if I got bored with the scene I was writing, I just stopped and went onto the next one, so it's beyond gappy), I figured the only way I was ever going to get it posted (rather than tucked away in a dark corner of my hard drive to languish in obscurity) was to sign up for Big Bang. Deadlines work for me. I panic like fuck getting there, but I hit those deadlines. And I hate 'letting people down' so once I sign up for a thing, I'll get it done.
It pretty much means Camp NaNo is out though. Big Bang runs through August, but even if I get an early post date (posting starts in June), I know I'll be in an epic flurry of panic right up until the day, and when I've spent months with my head in just one thing, the last thing I want to do next is take on another long fic. I dunno. I won't say no until July, but I'm not holding my breath.
Really makes me think that perhaps, for me, Big Bang is the new NaNo. I mean, I NaNo'd religiously for 6 years, then last year I Banged, and come November I was just like, nope. One big thing a year is about enough for me these days. I must be getting old.
Shit's been changing a lot around here. Getting a bit more outdoorsy, over the last year or so. Yep, I started growing things, out in the previously barren back yard last summer, and it went pretty well. What began with one easy care garden bed last September became many, and now I've got plants thriving all over the bloody place.
(It's summer right now in the Southern Hemisphere, of course)
That's pretty much why I chose to not do NaNo this year, because the garden is taking so much of my time, but it's really affecting my writing and fandoming (totally a word) across the board. By the time I do get a chance to sit down at the computer, I'm too fucking exhausted to even think, let alone create. Half the time I just choose to not bother turning on the computer at all. And that's not a major revelation these days, because smartphones and devices and shit, and I do occasionally write on my phone, but it's a bit of a palaver, really only done when I have a midnight plotbunny or something. But I like the old physical keyboard, so.
(a hybrid tablet would be a handy dandy piece of equipment, I'm sure)
Anyway! So I've just posted the last fic I'll sign up to write in a while. It was the SPN Holidays Exhange that I signed up for months ago, and it was, to be honest, one of the hardest things I've ever written, mostly because as the weather got warmer and there was more stuff to be done in the garden, I just didn't have the time or brain-things to devote to it. That was pretty much a sign to not sign up for anything else until the summer is most definitely over!
So, the plan is, the next thing I sign up for will be Camp NaNo in July. That's midwinter here, nothing much will be going on in the garden (except for planting some garlic), and I'll have a good month of frost beforehand to plan the thing!
(then it'll be August, where I'll start gearing up for next summer again, holy crap)
So, yeah. Something had to give, and it's turned out to be the writing. Which I'm kind of okay with, at least with the whole signing up/obligation stuff. That way lies stress and the fear of letting people down if I can't complete things.
I've also retired from modding the FMF comm on LJ, after two years. I'm barely in the Teen Wolf fandom these days anyway, I've still got friends and connections there, and I'm still watching the show and reading the odd fic, but I'm not writing in that fandom at all anymore, so it's a good time to move on.
So, there's some definite shifting going on around here. I'm not leaving fandom or anythign like that, it would be impossible, for one! It's more like going with the flow, really. I'll be around as long as there's shows and books and shit to love :D Right now that's hanging on every fucking episode of Supernatural Season 11...
Spoiler warning for SPN 11x03 (and the previous eps in the season by default).
( Spoilers )
[please don't tell me anything that might have been indicated regarding the rest of the season—I am spoiler-free, and prefer to remain that way, thank you]
totally not a recap
So, the new season of Supernatural completely crept up on me. Feels like S10 only just finished O.o, but I guess it's been a while. I would have completely missed it had it not been for the fact that I decided to clear out my overflowing RSS feeds tonight and happened to see a mention of it.
Well. I dived on my fave torrent site at the speed of light and had it in mere minutes. I've been doing a slow rewatch of S10, and I only had four eps to go, so I was kind of up in the air as to whether I should do that before starting S11. I don't have the time I used to have for marathoning shows, so I would have either had to do an all nighter to watch 11x01 tonight, or get through an ep a night for 4 nights and then watch 11x01.
It took me about 30 seconds to decide that I couldn't abide either of those options, and I dived right in :D
Without spoilering, and without doing a big old recap and cross-examination of the ep, I'm just gonna say some things had me like \o/ and some things had me like :/ and some things had me like O.o and some things had me like O.O
And if the next ep could please hurry the fuck up I'd be very happy. Yup yup.
So I'm doing another Xmas exchange thingy
You know how when you sign up for a thing, exchange or whatnot, and there's that horror-period of uncertainty and fear and almost regret when you're awaiting your assignment (because who hasn't gotten an assignment that technically fits your offer but isn't quite your comfort zone and the entire process is a stress thing like OMG THIS IS SO HARD)?
In the past I've written comedic Christmas Dinner genfic (what the hell do I know about Northern Hemisphere Christmas? Nothing. And I'm NOT funny, nope), and fluffy kidfic (soo far out of my ballpark), and 'trimming the tree' (again with the unfamiliar traditions), so Xmas exchanges always instill a kind of cold sweat terror (and yet I continue to sign up).
I got my assignment for spn_j2_xmas yesterday, and I frickin danced around the kitchen with joy. It just FITS. I was like, here are all the things I like, and these are all things I can do!
Prompts even fit things I have been wanting to write but just needed an excuse, and my recipient's likes are all my happy places, and I'm just so pleased!
Epic kudos to the matching mods, they certainly know their stuff.
So I sat down last night and picked one of many bunnies that hit me almost immediately, and roughly planned a thing out, and I'm totally psyched :D I'm not saying there won't be stress (there always is when crafting a thing especially for a person), but I'm feeling very hopeful, because I know I'm capable, I just have to make it work :D
Totally not to diminish the value of challenging oneself to leave ones safe wee box, but sometimes, it's just nice when things come easy, you know?
I'd never come across the Alpha/Beta/Omega phenomenon before I hit the Teen Wolf fandom. It just wasn't a thing in my previous fandoms. While there's elements of the trope that I enjoy (mpreg, male lactation, knotting, made them do it), I steadfastly resisted it in Teen Wolf.
Mostly because I'm a canon whore, and IMO, Teen Wolf already had a perfectly good Alpha/Beta/Omega mythology, and Omegaverse wasn't it.
But also, because it was, more often than not, kinda rapey. Sometimes very rapey.
I like a good non-con fic as much as the next deviant, and I love dub-con. The rape/non-con warning has never scared me away. But within ABO, where the balance of power is significantly uneven because biology, it's a squick.
I'm the same with BDSM fic. If consent isn't explicit, or if the bottom has any 'they don't love me' hangups even if it's revealed to be a misunderstanding later, or if the top is using subjugation and pejorative language in regards to the bottom, I'm running a mile fighting the urge to vom.
So ABO, if I read it, like BDSM (on the extremely rare occasion I might read that), has to be fairly fluffy and with all the consent and explicit feelings and communication and stuff. Or eww.
I've been reading a fair amount of ABO in Supernatural lately. Mostly it's good. Rape/non-con warnings are there to cover the dubious consent of biological imperative, there's respect for the omega, at least in the main pairing, lots of lovely mpreg and I don't have to completely disregard a canon mythology in order to read it.
Then I was reading a fic that had no rape/non-con warning, not even a dub-con tag, and was trucking along nicely with what seems to be a fairly common 'Dean hides his omega status from Sam for years and then spontaneously goes into heat when they're adults and they fuck' trope.
Then when Dean's heat is revealed, Sam suddenly turns into this rapey asshole, all 'I own you' and barely saying two words before throwing Dean down and fucking him.
Urgh. I squicked hard, and now I'm all shaken and kind of put off. And it all could have been avoided with a little dub-con or 'controlling language' tag or at least some hint in the summary that it was going to go that way.
I'm going to be wary of ABO going forward now, when I'd almost lost that fear because most of it is well tagged and doesn't ping my squicks. And that kind of sucks.
There's all these questions in my head now, too. Do I have the right to be pissed at getting squicked by this fic? Or is rapeyness to be assumed simply because of the biological imperative of ABO?
In my experience, a rapey vibe shouldn't be automatically assumed just because ABO, because it's not all like that. I feel like the author should have used the archive warning, or at least a dub-con tag (the work was 'no archive warnings apply' so the rapey vibe really was a surprise).
I guess I'm a little hesitant to leave a comment to that effect, though, because I ignore requests for top/bottom 'warnings'. There's a difference between an official archive warning vs a tag for something that shouldn't ever be a 'warning' at all, though, right?
I guess I'm afraid I'd get called out as a hypocrite :/
I thought this was year 5, but it's actually my sixth NaNo. Not counting the one Camp NaNo I did. That seems like a lot. I did my first NaNo around the same time or a little before I really started writing fic and being involved in fandom, so it is a good way of keeping track of that.
But 5 years. Holy crap.
So it's day #1 of NaNo '14 and it's awesome! So far. Give me a week and I'll be tearing my hair out and crying. In terms of where I thought I'd be in my story by todays target I'm way ahead. So I'm slightly concerned that I might not have enough story to fill the 50k. Hopefully things flesh themselves out as I move along, if not I have some backup fic I can write to fill the gap.
Oh! And my story. I've tended to write OF for NaNo, but this year I'm writing a (perhaps) novel length SPN fic. Wincest is best, as is the celebration of unhealthy brotherly co-dependence *grin*
I've already killed Dean. Just this morning. Went well XD
Also, I'm doing this without knowing anything about Season 10, so, spoilerphobe warning. Yep.
I'm just going to chuck this here so I can look at it and freak out when I see red boxes.
It's coming up the busiest time of year for me, for a lot of people, I guess. Christmas is on the horizon, but that's something I barely give a passing thought in October. November is the big month for me, it'll be my 5th NaNoWriMo this year, so it's definitely become something of a habit, and all non-essential things just go completely out the window until after it's over and I've taken a few days to recover.
And in time honoured vamp tradition, NaNo is approaching while I'm in the midst of one of my horrible extended not-writer's-block periods. Which is actually a good thing, because I generally come out of NaNo with a hiss and a roar, the not-block having been forced away by the necessity to consistently write a stupid amount of words each day.
So that's good. I'm looking forward to November, because NaNo for me is a kind of reset button for my writing habits.