vampthenewblack: (Default)

Once every season (twice so far, and yes, technically that's just a coincidence, but come S4 it'll be a pattern), I disconnect from the collective fandom consciousness, and become one fan, floating around in the void1 of space on my own. If you're reading this, you likely know all about my spoilerphobia already, so I won't bother explaining the why.

It's hard, being all alone. To be a fan is to be a part of something bigger, and to voluntarily remove myself from that is like ripping out a part of me, but it's bearable, only because I know I get to reconnect at the end of the season.

Of course, when I do reestablish that connection, I don't know any of the new command codes.

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vampthenewblack: (Default)

Happy birthday, honey. Can you believe it's two whole years exactly since I was there? Nope. Feels like yesterday, sometimes, then I see pics of your boys and see how much they've grown up and I just go O.O it really is that long :(

Anyway.

I wanted to write you perfect fic for your birthday. I always want to write you perfect fic. You're my first reader, my cheerleader, and I trust you with my words above all others. However. Somehow, for some reason, I always have trouble writing you perfect fic.

But you said you didn't need fic for your birthday. I breathed a sigh of relief, because although it kept getting put on my list of things to do, it scared the bejeebus out of me because I knew I couldn't write your perfect fic.

You said you just wanted me for your birthday (you did, I'm sure you did, I hope you did and it's not just my brain translating in my favour). Well. Here I am.

These are things that I have:

S03E13, S03E14, S03E15, S03E16, S03E17, S03E18, S03E19, S03E20, S03E21, S03E22

Just tell me when, where, how, and if you want me. It's okay if it's not now, or not soon, or not till after. I'm good with however you need it to be ♥

(and yes, I would have loved to have gotten all gushy and ~feelings on your birthday cos you know I love you to the fucking moon and back, but apparently I get all awkward and shit in public)

vampthenewblack: (Default)

I'm a bit OCD about my fandom experience, lots of funny little do and do-not behaviours that upon explanation tend to be met with blinky stares. I was talking to [archiveofourown.org profile] venis_envy the other day about it, and ended up writing a few of them down. While this is tongue-in-cheek and should be taken that way, to be quite honest, this is pretty much how I roll. So. Point, laugh, but go away with a little insight into my particular brand of insanity.

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vampthenewblack: (Default)

I miss the days when I obsessed about canon. The days I would sit and transcribe the dialogue of Buffy and Angel episodes. I still have the Latin dictionary I bought to translate the spells and rituals in both series because I needed to know everything. I kept timelines and character bios (yep, that stuff was online, but I totally made my own cos it was fun!). I kept lists of little hints at Angel's history, with plans to fill in the gaps with canon-compliant fic. I wrote some of it, most is lost in the mists of time and a couple of dead computers, or if it remains, it's written longhand in battered, faded notebooks.

I cared, so much about the world and those characters.

I really miss that. I'm older now, busier. Nothing will ever replace Buffy et al as far as fandom goes. Teen Wolf comes damn close, but I haven't so far acquired that all consuming passion. I love it, the world, the concept, the characters, but I lack the fanaticism I felt when Buffy was the thing my world revolved around.

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